7 Secrets To Finding The Right Online Coach

Suddenly, everyone's a coach. It seems like there are more coaches coaching coaches than there are Madagascar hissing cockroaches! I know I shouldn't put cockroaches and good coaches in the same sentence but I'm a little fed up with the idea of this anyone-can-be-a-coach-philosophy spreading like wild fire.

Fact is, anyone can't be a coach! I know some people who are coaches who are in no position at all to tell me how to run my life. How many marriage counselors are in the midst of divorce yet they can tell you how to fix your struggling relationship? How many business coaches out there couldn't operate a profitable lemonade stand?

How many Internet marketing coaches don't make enough money to pay their cable bill yet offer some amazing advice to help you make tons of money online? How many weight loss consultants could stand to lose a few… well, you get my drift. I call the ineffective, in-it-for-the-money-only-coaches out there Coach Roaches… and we've got to stamp them out!

Irritate Your Coach

Let's be realistic. None of us are perfect yet we all have valid advice we can give to others. But here's where we short-change ourselves. For example, my parents seem to take whatever advice their medical doctor gives them without question. I don't always agree with the doc but then I'm a marketing consultant and a writer, how would I know whether or not that toxic pain killer he prescribes is the best thing for my mother's arthritis pain?

Regardless, I'm still going to ask the questions and challenge the answers. I've been burned by a few of the Coach Roaches out there so I have learned to ask the tough questions. I tend to irritate doctors when I challenge their automatic pharmaceutical solutions to day-to-day health problems. I seem to fluster financial advisors when I ask them if they take their own advice… "Do you invest in that?"

Biased Advice

There are several areas of your life where coaching may come in very handy. Finances, fitness, relationships, business startups, and personal growth are just a few. When you are seeking expert advice, keep in mind that that expert advice is tainted, biased, prejudiced, and one sided. But, rest assured, at least it's self-serving.

Now I know this may sound a little cynical but when there's mucho dinero or life-changing events involved you've got to be realistic about your coach's ability to help you! Don't let a Coach Roach steer you down the wrong path. Choose your next coach wisely!

Pick the Right Coach not the Coach Roach!

Here are some warning signs that you're sitting in front of a Coach Roach:

1. Focus Pocus Coach Roach. If your coach has zeroed in on achieving your goal and not on helping you do the work necessary to prepare you to achieve your goal then you may have a Coach Roach problem. If this coach is doing more talking then listening then give your coach some feedback and see how he responds before you go further.

2. Weakly Weakling Coach Roach. If your weekly meetings are spent in front of a cheerleader who doesn't challenge you and kick your butt once in a while then you've met a nice person but not a great coach. When I meet my fitness coach at 5:30 every morning he doesn't care that I was up late or had too much to eat the night before. He kicks my butt. He pisses me off sometimes but that's what I need. If he let's me off the hook he's not doing his job and I'm not getting results. A weak coach is an ineffective coach. Exterminate him.

3. Jerry Jargon Coach Roach. If your coach seems to spend a lot of time using coaching lingo and strange phrases normal people wouldn't use then ask her to knock it off. You might benefit by learning some new terminology but this is not a time to be impressed by someone's industry buzz words. You should only be impressed by someone's deeds. Your coach's performance is measured by your success. When your coach isn't listening, interrupts a lot, or speaks in a patronizing tone you need to leave that coach alone.

4. Ego Amigo Coach Roach. When you feel your coach is looking for kudos, stokes, and ego gratification at your expense something's not right. If your coach needs to get her emotional needs met or is in any way caught up in your drama then say "See you mañana." If your coach seems to have a vested interest in just being right about everything then say adios my ego amigo!

5. Encroaching Coaching Coach Roach. When your coach encroaches on you to an uncomfortable level to get more referrals, that's unprofessional. When he takes sides with you, for or against a boss, spouse or other party, that's not cool. When your coach breaks your confidence and shares your issues with someone else without your permission, that's time to send him off to the Dumb Coach Hotel where he can check in but he can never leave.

6. Marketing Monster Coach Roach. When your coach spends more time pitching than listening to your bitching then you've got a problem. A little marketing now and then is natural but if this coach spends too much of your paid time pitching you her book, tapes, or next seminar then she's wasting your valuable time and money. This is your time and if she wants to talk about something off topic she should ask your permission and do it at another time and place. Working with a coach requires you, the coachee to learn to set boundaries. Yes, set boundaries even on the experts!

7. Advice Vice Coach Roach. If your coach has a habit of giving bad advice then think twice before continuing. If you ever get legal advice, medical advice, psychological advice from someone who is not licensed in those fields then take my advice and leave that field for a greener pasture real fast. If your coach has one solution to every problem, he's off base. If your coach loves to tell rather than ask, guide, and give plenty of options, he's got a bad vice for giving advice.

So now you know how to recognize a Coach Roach. Here are the traits of a professional and effective coach that you can count on to help you start your new Internet marketing project, lose that weight, find that ideal life partner, etc. An ideal coach is your…

1. Partner. She understands what you are looking for and does what she can to help you achieve those goals, right along side you.

2. Champion. He supports you in authentic ways and gently but firmly guides you.

3. Trainer. She gives you the structure you need and the tools to change direction in what ever you are attempting to achieve.

4. Sounding Board. He knows how to listen and helps you sort out your choices.

5. Motivation. She points out when action is called for and when being still is best.

6. Unconditional Support. He knows you are not perfect and he's always there when you're taking your lumps.

7. Mentor. She models, through her life, what you are looking for.

8. Codesigner. He jumps in and codesigns solutions with you.

9. Beacon of Light. She's someone you are glad to see when the seas get rough.

10. Wake up Call. He's not pulling any punches with you. He's always clear and direct because he knows your potential. He knows your limits but he doesn't buy your excuses.

Coaching Credentials

When it comes to finding the right coach, of course you want to see what their credentials are. What is their degree in? How much experience do they have in your area of interest? How long have they been coaching people like you? But most importantly? Answer this question: What does your intuition say about this person?

Before you hire that coach, have a very direct conversation with her. Ask the tough questions. Check real references. And, as if I haven't said it enough… follow your gut. Do this and you'll have a much better chance of achieving your goals and avoiding the ugly unpleasantries of the all-too-pervasive, Coach Roaches!

Copyright (c) 2007 Steve Dahl

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