Inside Mens Mind

We are all struggling in the battle of the sexes..We , women, try to decode the very minds of the men we are with. What is really going on in his mind?
Men have proved that they are able to admit to a lot of thing we find appalling and inappropriate. Their way to deal with us women is to basically agree to a lot of comments and critique we make. And then they apologize to make things better.
We never really unfold their minds to see what is really inside them, and what makes them the way they are.

On the outside a lot of men seem to be very self confident, carry themselves like gentlemen, demonstrate their etiquette and good manners.
On the inside, the men, just like everyone else, have concerns and sensitive issues.
They have fears and desires, that sometimes they can not share with us because they
feel that , by opening up they may be jeopardizing their masculinity and manhood.
A lot of times we do not give them a chance to have their guards down, and feel free to express their minds. Thus, the man who holds a lot of things inside eventually becomes resentful and closed up.


In some occasions, when the relationship doesn't work out, it is not about miscommunication or inability of women to listen; it's about men suppressing what they feel inside, and their incapability to approach the issues.
They would rather let the relationship go, or just agree to just about anything you have suspect it may be "wrong" with him; then admit what is really on their mind.
The worst things are for men to criticize the women on a personal level; like the things about the way she looks, the matters of personal hygiene (oh yes, that happens to), her response and attitude towards certain situations. Also, the biggest controversy lies in women's overall control of the relationship, leaving men no options for equal arguments.

So, the men who are bothered with concerns go out and share them with their friends, who are usually men, who have absolutely no idea how to deal with them.
If the men have a female friend, it may not be always helpful, because the women tend to be biased; they take men's side because they are their friends. The women do what is best in their nature, they comfort and console. Therefore they try to make the men feel better, versus
pointing out the cause of the problem.

Consequently, men go back to their mates, and just contain their feelings, or start to rebel in a different way not relevant to the issue. The women, then becomes puzzled as to what is going on, then she fights him back, with out realizing what is the core of the matter.
I always believe the old saying, "It is not what you say, it's how you say it".
The men have issues approaching us, so the women should be able to bring it out in them;
lovingly and peacefully; if she wants the relationship to work. We are after all feminine and motherly. Try to regard and accept his views; give him a chance; don't automatically start judging they way he thinks.
Give him a credit for trying to be frank and conspicuous with you. That may be considered a compliment to you and your relationship.
Appreciate the fact that we do this all the time to them, we give it them straight up, no phrases spared. And they usually take it, accept it; most of the time agree with it; and let you feel like a winner (although it is not a winning situation).

Keep in mind, that most of men have problems expressing those issues they feel
inadequate about solving. So, listening and understanding would be the first step to embracing his mind.
There are some things that can be resolved, compromised and dealt with; which will result the relationship to enhance and blossom. Gain an ability to listen!
It will bring longevity to your relationship.

Most of women feel very strongly about their opinions and general overview
of what life and other people behavior should be. And, most of the time they may be right, since women are given that amazing sense of intuition and righteousness.
However, in real life, we don't get perfect and flawless partners.
It simply doesn't exist! No one is ideal!

Women do not realize how the openness and honesty can bring you closer to your partner, and make the relationship work and grow. Don't be afraid to know too much!
There are may be some things that will come across very offensive to a women, due to men's difficulties' to express themselves effectively. Be patient; you want to be with this person; show him the way; show him that you can be very empathetic and companionate.
A woman wants the men to change for her and adapt her ways; so she should at least consider his requests and thoughts. The women can make the changes, and adjust to his means for the sake of her relationship.
Unlike men, we are very receptive and adoptable to changes!

If there are some things that you disagree with, or feel like you can not accept or live with, try to find the way to deal with it. Let him know that you respect and understand his feelings about the subject. Do not depreciate his identity!
You can and should let him know how you feel about the matter, but you need to do it in a very delicate, simple and cohesive way.
You'd be surprised, when you use this tactic, how many times the men would see things your way, and take on your view. And, if he isn't, you have to take it gracefully, and either try to see things his way, and accept it; or try to live with it.

May be it is more difficult said then done, but we are all people with different characters and personalities; and we have different perspectives on things.
So, you have to make a rational decision about your relationship, and your ability to either endure or reject his vision.
The best way is to use pros and cons; figure out all those things that make you so happy
about this person, and also the things you are willing to put up with.
When you weight the good and the bad, you will see a different picture about your relationship. Some things are really unimportant, or can be dealt with; the good can overwrite the shortcomings.

Women do not realize how the openness and honesty can bring you closer to your partner, even if it's not always the most pleasant truth.
The truth will set you free, and make the relationship work and grow strong.

In conclusion, try to re-direct your mind about accepting and supporting the truth about your partner, without compromising the integrity.
This new notion may come with a lot of benefits!

Tanya Wiseman

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